Heart Starter
by Taiichi
Summary: Yusuke is a struggle between what he wants and his inconsistent emotions. What he wants is a person.. and that person wants him back, but can Yusuke get past his depression and see this? JinxYusuke quite OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, so please don't sue

**Warning: **This is Yaoi meaning it contains gay content... There is also very detailed sexual content and offensive language... if you don't like this DO NOT READ!

**CHAPTER 1**

Yusuke lies on the moist grass underneath him. He wore his slightly torn yellow v-neck vest and black track pants. He was in a daze simply staring at the night sky above completely unaware to the fact he was being stalked by a predator… and he was the prey. Yusuke was still exhausted from the demon world tournament and couldn't be bothered to slick his hair back so it lay loose over his face, but his hazel eyes were still able to see the glimmering stars.

Lately Yusuke could not forget one of his closest friends and every time he closed his eyes, the dirtiest images would appear before him.

_What is wrong with me? I mean he is a guy and so am I! It just isn't right! Why him though, aren't I in love with Kieko… Please gods, Koenma, Koenma's dad, whoever just send me a god damn sign._

As Yusuke was in his own deep thoughts and picturing dirty images of his close friend his predator was getting ready to pounce.

The demon's red hair was spiked up and a little white horn that came through the tornado of hair sparkled in the moonlight. He hovered in the air and watched the younger boy's face and his various different expressions. A toothy grin soon appeared on the demons face and his ears pointed directly to the sky above him as the night sky haired boy noticed him.

"JIN!" Yusuke managed to pronounce.

"Ah Urameshi, just the lad I'd be needing to see" Jin said as he hovered to the grass beside Yusuke.

_Damn it! Koenma I said a sign not the actual person! Oh Shit what am I supposed to do. SHIT! I can't think straight. What happens if I say something and I scare him, I can't do that not to Jin I care about him too much… maybe a little too much._

Jin had already sat beside Yusuke and was about to make a joke to cheer him up as he looked so lost and confused but he wasn't able to as he was in awe of Yusuke's features: His smooth face, muscular body and virgin lips.

Yusuke then snapped out of his aimless mind mumbling and turned to look at Jin. There eyes met and neither of them could take there eyes of the other. Minutes later an unusual blush crept upon Yusuke's face and he looked away. Uncomfortable as Jin was still gazing at him Yusuke laid on his back and began to stare at the stars once more.

"Jin, you can stop starring you know. I mean, I know I'm fucking sexy but you don't need to drool over me", Yusuke said with a laugh trying to blow off the awkwardness in the air.

"But I can't Urameshi, my inside of me chest seems to pump a BOOM BOOM whenever I see's ya", Jin said lying down beside Yusuke and began to chuckle.

For a brief second Yusuke's hopes shot up, thinking that what Jin said might be the slightest bit true and that his feeling weren't just one sided. However, doubt crept over his heart and Yusuke abandoned the idea.

"So, what brings you to the living world?" Yusuke asked attempting to make conversation.

"Well you see my Urameshi there is this fool who had stolen me heart, and I wanted to get his heart in return", the red headed demon said and he plastered one of his famous toothy grins upon his face.

_Oh, so he already has his eyes set on someone. Damn it why the fuck did I fall for him. I mean I have Keiko, right? And a boy with a boy just isn't right. But than why do I feel like my fucking heart was just torn out. FUCK IT ALL! Wait did he say __**His**__ Heart? Did he just say __**My**__ Urameshi?_

"Jin, umm, there is this person that I uh, like and I can't stop thinking of him", a blush crept upon Yusuke's face "I mean this person, I mean a guy and a guy just isn't right…right?"

"Urameshi you do say some diddly things that sure brightens me mood and makes me ears perk even more so!" Jin chuckled, "Why wouldn't to boys be allowed to mate, that is the thing to do!"

Yusuke's jaw dropped, he had just heard Jin say that it was all right for men to have sex.

_WHAT?!?!? Is Jin saying that boys CAN have sex? That's dirty isn't it, I mean unclean. But he says he is okay with it, and I want him so badly. No, I can't I don't even know what I would do… well I have a idea…okay a BIG idea but I have Keiko, Yes that's right I'd prefer a girl to a guy any day…FUCK IT, I'm in love with a fucking guy and there is nothing I can fucking do about it. No I cannot, I will not._

"Urameshi you okay? Cause your face is all like scrunching up and it looks like your thinking real deep bout something," Jin said whilst poking Yusuke's rib cage, snapping him out of his train of thought.

"Uh, ya I'm o-okay. So did you just say that you were in love with a…g-guy?" Yusuke mumbled avoiding Jin's stare.

"Urameshi are you trying to riddle me that you aren't" Jin exclaimed whilst jumping into the air"

"Duh, I mean that's DIRTY and it's not right!" Yusuke shouted getting up to his feet.

"Are you'd saying that I am not clean, I scrub till I am squeaky clean thank you very much" Jin said now getting aggravated

"JIN YOUR GAY?!?!?!" Yusuke shouted at the top of his lungs, shock had hit him like one of Keiko's infamous slaps.

Minutes passed as each other's emotions rose to the peek. Yusuke after seeing the look of hurt in Jin's eyes turned away. Jin was hurt, Yusuke had managed to make the very confident Jin feel as if the way he was bad. He had come all the way to the living world just to find the person that stole his heart and now he was being told that it was wrong, that he was wrong.

"Urameshi, I came here for you. I came here to tell you that I love you with every tincie wincie bit of my heart. If you're saying that me liking you is wrong! Well it's not!" Tears were beginning to swell in the red haired demon's eyes. "It's normal for we demons to do it, and your part demon to Urameshi, right?"

Yusuke couldn't believe what was happening. The person that he had been infatuated with since the dark tournament was saying that he liked him back. But why was he turning away. Jin was even saying that in the demon world there was no such thing as gay. However, Yusuke couldn't get a grip on the words and became scared. He turned away from Jin and stormed off.

Jin's heart was broken. His usual cheerful side was gone and he felt that there was nothing left for him. He had had his eyes on Yusuke since the dark tournament and as the years progressed he fell further and further until he came to terms with himself. He was in love with the ex-spirit detective and he had thought that Yusuke liked him back.

Touya had persuaded him not to pursue Yusuke at the dark tournament because he was a human. Now since Yusuke was part demon it made it all right. Jin couldn't comprehend the rejection. He slowly flew into a tree and sat down with his partial bareback up against the tree bark. He that put his head into his white trousers and let several uncommon tears fall. Pain kept filling up his chest and made his heart clench. And as the wind master's pain grew so did the winds howls.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Yusuke ran and kept running not stopping, not even considering where he was. All he was thinking about were the words that Jin said. He knew that Jin meant those words and he knew that he wanted to say the exact same words to Jin. But why was he running, what was he running away from.

_I guess it's always been like this. I can't ever say what I truly mean. FUCK! I hate myself. I know it's wrong for me to feel this way. But I can't stop myself no matter how hard I try. But what hurts even more is that I hurt Jin._

Tears began to stream down Yusuke's face and as he kept running aimlessly, rain began to poor from the sky and blended in with the tears. The midnight black haired boy soon came across to a road. His memory took control and led him to an apartment that his mind seemed to recognize but he could not remember where he had last seen it. His emotions seemed to be clouding over everything.

He walked up the concrete stairs leaving puddles behind him until he reached the third floor. He continued walking until he came to a door with the number 8 plated onto it. Habits took over and he reached into his right pocket and pulled out a key ring with several keys on it. He took the fifth key on the ring and inserted it into the lock, the soaking boy than twisted the key rightwards until he heard a click, than he turned the handle whilst pulling out the key. He stepped into his bachelor apartment were he had been living for 6 months now whilst closing the door behind him locking it; he did not want any visitors.

Yusuke took his shoes off and passed through the living room until he reached his bedroom. He opened the door and ran to his queen sized bed. He quickly buried his head into one of the many pillows and silently cried himself to sleep.

Jin was lost. He had made his way back to demon world. But his heart was lost. All he could think about was Yusuke but every time he thought about him, pain engulfed him leaving him in a disastrous state.

Jin and Yusuke than locked themselves away from everyone. No matter whom it was they would not talk to them and they simply hid from the world and tried to hide from themselves. Days turned into weeks and soon enough a month had passed since the encounter Yusuke and Jin both shared. Jin had recovered and had decided that there was no reason for him to stay upset over nothing. However, he knew it wasn't nothing and a part of him still longed for Yusuke but he chose to lock those feelings away and to leave them be.

Yusuke on the other hand kept replaying the encounter repeatedly in his mind. His heart was shattered as he couldn't let Jin know how he really felt and instead of admitting his feelings he ended up hurting the others feelings. Kuwabara and Keiko had managed to convince Yusuke to stay with Genkai until he was feeling better. Everyone thought Yusuke was suffering from an illness; no one would have guessed he was suffering from a broken heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Yusuke stood in front of a mirror and looked himself directly on the eye. He had had several visits from Kuwabara, Keiko, Boton, Karama, heck even Hiei came to see how he was doing. But none of them was any affect on him. He could feel that everyone truly cared about him but it just hurt him even more as he knew he could never care for them. It grieved him even more as Karama and Hiei started dating, and everyone encouraged them. No one seemed to think it was wrong but why did he feel as if he had confessed to Jin everyone would shun him. He made a mistake and it caused him the ultimate pain.

_Damn it Yusuke. Look at yourself; you look like a piece of shit. And what are you doing to help yourself…NOTHING! You can't do anything, your weak. You couldn't even say that you loved Jin…do I love Jin? FUCK IT, I'm in love with Jin and instead of sharing my feelings with him, I rejected his feelings and stomped on them. All I'm doing is burdening everyone. There really is no point in me being here any more. I'm sure that everyone would be better off if I left..._

Yusuke made up his mind and walked out of the bathroom. He went to the room he was staying at and packed the little amount of clothes he had. He than put a fake smile on and approached Genkai, he explained he was feeling a lot better and that he was going back to his apartment. Genkai told Yusuke that he could stay longer if he wanted, but Yusuke politely refused. With a goodbye, he left the temple and went home.

Two hours later Yusuke arrived at his house and tossed his bag on the couch. Rain started to poor and it tapped against the windows. Yusuke was in a daze, not knowing exactly knowing what he was doing he approached his room. He took out a small object out of his beside table and sat on his bed.

_Is this it? Is this all I can do to make everyone happy again? Yes, it is. I'm just a burden. I only have one regret…not telling Jin how I truly feel. I guess I will see him in the next world and maybe things will work out there._

Yusuke than opened the Swiss army knife and slowly pressed the blade up against his smooth wrist. He pressed down harder and harder ignoring the pain and paying no attention to the blood that was leaking from his body. The ex-spirit detective than felt light headed and fell backwards, allowing him to lie down on the soft bed. Blood was still pouring from the deep wrist wound and he was beginning now to feel cold. He felt cold and weak and soon he felt very tired. His eyelids shut closed and life surrounding him seemed to be slipping away. Everything around him simply went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Yusuke awoke silently not knowing who he was or where he was. He sat up and looked at his surroundings. He was in what seemed to be a hospital bed but he did not know why. He attempted to move but pain scorched his left wrist, he looked down to find stitches where the pain came from. As he pondered, where it came from his memory flooded back in. He was Yusuke Urameshi the one who only seems to cause the people around him pain, especially the ones who cared for him.

Why was he still alive was the question that circled his mind. He was sure that his death would have been instant but it seems he was proven wrong. He searched the tiny white room he was in to find any sort of life but there was nothing.

"Figures, why would any one want to see a person who fucks everything up" Yusuke muffled underneath his breath.

He sat up for about two more minutes gazing out his window. It was dark but the sky was very clear and the moon shun like a diamond ring. He then laid back down and moments later fell asleep.

Not a moment after Yusuke fell asleep a red haired demon came into the room holding a coffee. He then sat in the chair beside Yusuke's bed where he had been sitting for the past week, and looked at the person in front of him.

"Urameshi you sure are daft. Why do you have to go and do something like this to yourself? Why?" Jin spoke with a soft voice.

Jin's eyes now began to water as he laid his eyes upon the wound on Yusuke's wrists. Yusuke had been fine until he confessed to him and he felt completely responsible. He then attempted to slip his hand into Yusuke's soft palm but stopped himself. Yusuke would be very distraught if he woke up holding hands with a guy! He then took a sip of the coffee and peacefully fell asleep. Coffee has the opposite affect on demons then it does on humans.

Yusuke awoke the next morning to the sound of the nurse checking the IV drip. They exchanged a hello and then she left leaving Yusuke in the sunny white room. He sighed and removed the needles like objects from his arm. He then hoped out of the bed but became dizzy instantly and found it hard to walk.

_How long have I been out of it? It couldn't have been that long I mean it was only a wound to the wrist. But that wound was supposed to be the last wound. Damn it, I probably worried everyone with my stupid stunt. FUCK IT! I should've died! WHY DIDN'T I DIE!_

Yusuke looked out the window and realized he was on the ground floor. He walked over to the wardrobe on the other side of the room to see if there was an outfit in there. Sure enough, there was a pair of black shorts and a white t-shirt that had an AC/DC logo on the front. He quickly changed and hopped out the window with one destination in mind, his apartment.

Yusuke decided to take the scenic route so it took him two hours to get to his flat. He opened the door and slowly made his way to the kitchen. He was starving so he looked in his fridge. Sure enough, someone had come over and replaced all the rotten food in his fridge with newly bought food. He silently thanked whoever had done it in his head and he made himself a PB & J sandwich. After finishing the meal, he went into his room and collapsed on his bed. The sheets and the mattress were new and the hardwood floor looked brand new. But Yusuke couldn't notice because he was quickly subdued to a powerful need to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**GRAPHIC**

**CHAPTER 5**

_The red headed demon slowly inserted himself into Yusuke's wet, virgin…_

Yusuke awoke with a start. Was that just a dream or the real thing Yusuke wondered searching the room for any sign that what he just saw was real. After a few seconds, he calmed down a bit, realizing that it was just a dream. Yusuke felt disappointed as he remembered what he felt for Jin and how he broke Jin's heart. He glanced at the clock at his beside table. It read 11:42, to early to get up he thought and attempted to fall back asleep. This failed greatly as each time he shut his eyes the images of the dream would appear before him. He tried to ignore the images but he felt something throbbing in his shorts.

With a grin, Yusuke sat up and threw off the blanket. He slowly slid of the black shorts and his dark green boxers, revealing his very large package. He than removed the white AC/DC shirt that he nicked from the hospital, he was now completely bare having already removed his socks. The midnight haired boy than went into his closet, he pried open the doors and reached for a box on the top right corner. He took the box and sat back onto the bed. Yusuke quickly pried opened the tiny box; he rummaged through a bunch of different flavored condoms until he found what he was looking for… coconut flavored lube.

He was about to apply the lube to his eager cock but he than remembered something. He had found a 10-inch dildo still in its package a while ago. It must have been his moms and she must of his it in one of the boxes that Yusuke packed his clothes in when he moved out. He went to the closet again and pulled out the packaged dildo from the left hand corner. He quickly opened it and tossed it on the bed. Before jumping on the bed himself, the naked Yusuke shut the blinds allowing a dim light to pass through.

Yusuke applied generous amounts of lube onto his throbbing 12-inch and began to pump himself slowly. This made his large member stiff as a rock. He than put some lube on his fingers and began stretching himself. He had seen this done a few times as Yusuke went on the internet whenever he felt curious; however, this was the first time that Yusuke was doing it. One finger soon became two and moments later, a third finger was inserted. The feeling of having something inside of him was making him feel ecstatic, so he rapidly applied generous amounts of lube to the white plastic cock.

Slowly he inserted into himself wincing at the pain at first but eased into it moments later. Yusuke after a few tries was able to take the whole 10-inches inside of him. As the ex-spirit detective was about to pry the dildo out of him he discovered a switch. Not knowing what it did he became curious and he flicked it on. The dildo than began to vibrate making Yusuke yelp from the surprise and pleasure. The feeling that Yusuke was feeling was off the charts and his forgotten cock began to leak pre-cum. The midnight haired boy grasped his aching member and began to pump furiously leaving the vibrator on.

"Jinnn…" Yusuke moaned softly, slowly reaching his climax.

He pumped even faster closing his eyes and imagining that it was the red haired demon inside of him and making him feel this good. He stroked a few more times and he swallowed his breath as he felt his climax only moments away. He vigorously pumped his shaft until the climax was upon him.

"JINNNN!" Yusuke cried as he covered himself with a sticky white substance.

Yusuke was breathing heavily as he pumped himself a few more times. He than removed the vibrator from his stretched ring, as he did this tiny drops of blood followed. He put the vibrator in the tiny box and put the box back into his closet. He than quickly jumped into the shower and scrubbed himself clean. Forty-five minutes later, he hoped out the shower. And put on a torn up dark green t-shirt and a pair of faded, loose fitting jeans. Yusuke than stepped back into the bathroom and put his fingers in an open can of gel and slicked his hair back. He grabbed his keys of the kitchen counter top and went into the living room. There he found a bottle of Phoenix cologne and applied some to his neck. He left minutes later in search of a friend who he had not seen for a while.


End file.
